Where is My Relationship Heading?

Have you ever asked yourself, Where is this relationship heading? It's a good practice to assess where you are in your life from time to time. Where you are, that is, in relation to what is going on in all the various aspects of what makes up your life experience.

Today let's focus on your relationships. Are the people with whom you surround yourself in life helping you grow or are they hindering your growth? It may be that you are the one who is changing or have changed, and with every personal growth spurt or boost of expanded awareness you experience, you need to reassess your relationships accordingly. Or your partner may be growing, but in a different direction from you; same outcome really.

Most of us regularly assess acquaintances and business associates, but do you take time to assess your close personal friendships and intimate relationship, to assess if they are still serving your highest good and personal growth?

Of course we may be walking where angels fear to tread here, but if you are not advancing in your life, if you are not growing and expanding your possibilities of greater awareness and experience, you are missing out on a major part of what life is meant to be: a journey of expansion of your being into more than you are at present.

Every relationship has its own potential and they fall into one of two basic categories:

1. Relationships that add.

2. Relationships that subtract.

Take a look at the second category. What happens when you become aware that one or more of your relationships is subtracting from your personal growth and progress in life? You are left with the option to resist this realization or you can bring truth to it and simply accept that it is "not working" and assess what you can do about it.

So what does this mean for you? Good question...

It means one of three things:

1. The relationship was meant to be temporary and now needs to end.

You created this relationship to learn something and it has brought that specific gift to your life. The worst thing to do is to hold onto it when the universe is telling you it's time to let go. If you hold on to this kind of relationship it will pull you down and prevent your expansion. This relationship was only ever meant to be "seasonal," and if you don't let it go, what was once delightful could become destructive; certainly not for your greater continued good.

2. You entered the relationship thinking you could change the other person.

The only reality over which you have any kind of control is your own experience. You can never change anyone else unless they decide to make the change of their own accord. If you think you will change a person to fit your needs you are misleading yourself. They must want to change, and you can't want it more for them than they want it for themselves. If this is where you stand in relation to the other person, you need to reassess and take action.

3. You are in a static relationship that holds you in your past.

As long as you surround yourself with a person or people who hold you in your past it will prevent you from completing your transformation into who you want to become. When others attempt to put you on a guilt trip for trying to change, their fear of change will hold you bound to the past and prevent your growth. As long as they attempt to hold you in the same place they are, you cannot move forward at your own chosen pace.

If your intimate relationship falls into one of the above categories, you will have to assess just exactly what are your priorities for your life. You can ramp it up or choose to let it go. It takes enormous courage to leave the past behind and face an uncertain future, but the price of not doing so may cost you far more than anything you could possibly lose.

You were born to live your life in ever expanding experience. You need to surround yourself with people who share your highest aspirations. Mix with those who are as you would like to be, or who have what you want - not what you have at present.

When you feel the urge, take time to reassess your relationships, particularly your intimate relationship. See how you can perhaps contribute more, be more present to the other and play your role with full immersion. If you see it cannot be sustained, do what needs to be done. You only have one life this time around. Don't waste even one day more: start living for growth of love and expansion of who you are and want to be.

By Marie C. Barrett