Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.
Active socially: Drinks heavily.
Alert to company developments: An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.
Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
Consults with supervisor often: Pain in the neck.
Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.
Happy: Paid too much.
Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way.
Identifies major management problems: Complains a lot.
Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors.
Internationally known: Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas.
Is well informed: Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.
Inspires the cooperation of others: Gets everyone else to do the work.
Keen sense of humor: Knows lots of dirty jokes.
Keeps informed on business issues: Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer.
Listens well: Has no ideas of his own.
Not a desk person: Did not go to college.
Use all available resources: Takes office supplies home for personal use.
Quick thinking: Offers plausible excuses for errors.
Spends extra hours on the job: Miserable home life.
Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn.
Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress: Buys drinks for superiors.
Very creative: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
