For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

1. A day without sunshine is like, night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

4. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

5. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

6. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

7. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

8. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

9. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

10. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

12. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

13. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

14. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

15. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.