Valentine's Day is near... I dropped by the mall to buy some stuff for myself. Hey! Love is in the air. People are busy buying gifts for their love ones... Enough about this buying stuffs. Anyways, I found this photo from my sister's folder. I remember how I met Mark...
We met through one of the social networking in Late 2007. I think its December. I didn't mind him because I just don't wanna trust online relationships. Although we came from the same school. We have common friends. But I don't know him personally. We met only for a few minutes. I'm not really comfortable. In year 2008, I stopped communicating with him. I'm in Cebu and he's in Davao. in Year 2009, I came back here in Davao. Got my new job in Real Estate Industry. It was weekend. Valentine's day. I'm walking at the park. My friend is a band member. And they are invited for gig. The next day, I was surprised! Mark has a message! He saw me at the park and was too shy to approach me. Maybe I will not remember him. And from then on, we became textmates again. Getting to know each other. Another surprising thing, on that the same year, March 2009 he resigned from his job and got a job in General Santos City. I got my job in June. We came from the same company!
And since then, we shared a lot of experiences and stories. Until our friendship grown deeper. And I really thank God for having him. I regret for the two years I wasted. But its ok. In that two years, I learned a lot.. If you're really meant for each other, everything will come into place in the least expected way... **wink** I love you Mark. Thank you for coming and staying in my life. I love you so much!
Here some tips that could help communication gap in a relationship. Hope this can help you.
1. Practice attentive listening. – giving your partner your full attention. Encourage them with your eyes, explain the problem, with providing what you assume you have heard, summarizing and paraphrasing what they have said and say: Did I understand you exactly?
2.Be at rest, end all other activities. – Do not do something while talking to each other. Stop and have an eye contact. It seems easy and it is very powerful.
3.Honesty – ask yourself whether it is a time for you to be truly present for your partner, when he or she wants to talk to you. If you can’t give them your complete attention then say no. Say it with love and respect.
4.Listen with an empty cup. – even if you heard it a hundred times, listen as if you don’t know it, haven’t heard of it before.
5.Speak from the heart – Listen to your feelings before speaking.
6.Time for the truth – think whether the other person is ready to hear what you will tell them. If you think he’s not, then, leave it for now.
7.Leave the past behind – past is past. Value the present.
8.Make time – Do have quality time with each other. Make sure that you have an equal amount of time to spend with each other.
9.Learn more about communication – we are still learners. There are still a lot that we ought to know about communication.
10.Say Thank You – it is a gratitude that will enhance relationship. Saying Thank you means you value the time you spent with each other.
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I will marry you."
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her, "Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later had a note sent to her saying, "Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine."
This is often how our human nature works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
Life is a gift.
Today, before you say an unkind word, think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.
Today, before you complain about life, think of those who may have died before their time.
Before whining about the distance you drive, think of those who walk the same distance on foot.
When you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
And, when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around for a reason.
You've found a new guy and the two of you have been dating for a few months now. He's handsome, funny, and charming, and yet something about the relationship doesn't feel quite right. You so much want this to work, as it has been some time since you've dated anyone this long with the prospect of a permanent commitment. But you still have some important unanswered questions.
1. Where does he go on the weekends?
You've noticed from the beginning of your dating relationship that your guy doesn't hang around on Saturday or Sunday. In fact, you don't see him too often on Friday nights, either. You have to wonder if he has a family out there somewhere, or some kind of commitment elsewhere that is bound to interfere with yours at some point. In fact, it already is interfering. When you ask him why he can't come around over the weekend, he stutters and stammers, but so far, no good excuses.
2. What about his family?
After five months, you still haven't met his parents, sister, or even his dog. He's given you a dozen reasons why you can't visit his apartment, none of them valid. You would love to meet his family-if he has one, that is. Moreover, it wouldn't be a bad idea to be introduced to his coworkers, neighbors, or friends. But so far, none of that is happening. There was one buddy from college who was passing through town and took the two of you out for dinner, but that was it.
3. Does he really have a job?
Even though he has vaguely mentioned having a job somewhere, he doesn't say much about the work, the company, or his boss. You don't actually know what he does or how much he makes. In fact, he's often broke, which is why the two of you hang out at your place for pizza and television rather than go to the movies or dinner.
4. Will he ever get serious?
This guy takes life pretty easy. He doesn't seem to have any hassles or worries, and he's not particularly interested in the future-with or without you. You've fallen into a fairly predictable and almost boring dating pattern, and you're wondering if you could live this way the rest of your life even if things did get serious.
5. Does he meet your needs?
When you need a shoulder to cry one, he withdraws a little, like he's not very comfortable with emotion. At times when you want to dress up and go out, he's ready to sack out on the sofa for a little snooze. He seldom shows much interest in your job, your family, or your hobbies. So what's to love about him?
If any of these, especially in combinations of two or more, describe your relationship, maybe it's time to move on. Unless you force a confrontation and insist on things changing, chances are they won't. And who wants to force someone to pretend to like you, anyway? It could be time to give up and get going if your Romeo isn't showing much enthusiasm.
Have you ever wondered why some people are able to have success in dating and relationships, while others struggle and wonder if love will ever come their way? The answer could be found in understanding Love Rules.
The three most important Love Rules to remember are: Stop, Look, and Listen.
Stop.
Stop focusing on what you don't have and bring what you do have into view. You have attributes, talents, and abilities unique to you. Think about what they are and showcase them. The same goes for your appearance. Enhance and appreciate your good features, polish up what you have, and let go of any inner critical remarks that pass negative judgment on you.
Look.
Look at what you do to your self esteem when you act like a judgment machine. Nothing good comes from mean criticism. Find your encouraging voice that cheers you on. Whenever you have a win or do something you are proud of, tell yourself, "Yay team! Way to go!" Put that sentiment in your own words and make it your new mantra.
Listen.
Listening is a gift--to ourselves and to others. Men are deeply attracted to women who are gracious listeners; women warm to a man who can hear what they have to say and respond appropriately. Being a good listener starts with hearing your own judgmental voice first and learning to turn the volume down. When you are kinder to yourself, that caring ripples out to others.
Wrap these three rules in a blanket of a positive attitude. Negativity repels love; a positive attitude attracts who and what you want.
If you notice negative judgments curling up in your mind, wanting and waiting to spring forth, monitor the words and phrases that would give those thoughts a life.
If you have been in a few relationships you probably already noticed that there are several stages a relationship goes through before it ends. Most of these relationships begin great, and then end sometimes badly. The following list of relationship stages will help you determine where your current relationship is, and hopefully stop it from where it might be going.
The Beginning: This is always fun. You meet the person for the first time and start spending time together. You get butterflies in your stomach when they are around.
The Bonding: Commitment often begins here. You decide to stay with this person and see where things lead. Love may be present.
The Comfort: The fire has left and has been replaced with a warm comfort for one another. Routines are usually established at this stage.
The Boredom: The relationship becomes boring and you might be bored of each other. You may begin fighting about things that you do not really care about.
The Avoiding: Avoiding each other completely has become normal in your relationship. The only reason you stay together is because of convenience.
The End: The last of all the relationship stages. You may have tried several things to save the relationship but it was too late. You split up.
If many of your relationships have followed this path in the past, you may want to learn how to fix it before it happens. Michael Webb, who is the author of the Relationship EBook Collection, can teach you the skills you need to know if you want to avoid this nasty and painful cycle in the future. If you really want to make a relationship last it is going to take a lot of work. But it will be totally worth it.
Have you ever asked yourself, Where is this relationship heading? It's a good practice to assess where you are in your life from time to time. Where you are, that is, in relation to what is going on in all the various aspects of what makes up your life experience.
Today let's focus on your relationships. Are the people with whom you surround yourself in life helping you grow or are they hindering your growth? It may be that you are the one who is changing or have changed, and with every personal growth spurt or boost of expanded awareness you experience, you need to reassess your relationships accordingly. Or your partner may be growing, but in a different direction from you; same outcome really.
Most of us regularly assess acquaintances and business associates, but do you take time to assess your close personal friendships and intimate relationship, to assess if they are still serving your highest good and personal growth?
Of course we may be walking where angels fear to tread here, but if you are not advancing in your life, if you are not growing and expanding your possibilities of greater awareness and experience, you are missing out on a major part of what life is meant to be: a journey of expansion of your being into more than you are at present.
Every relationship has its own potential and they fall into one of two basic categories:
1. Relationships that add.
2. Relationships that subtract.
Take a look at the second category. What happens when you become aware that one or more of your relationships is subtracting from your personal growth and progress in life? You are left with the option to resist this realization or you can bring truth to it and simply accept that it is "not working" and assess what you can do about it.
So what does this mean for you? Good question...
It means one of three things:
1. The relationship was meant to be temporary and now needs to end.
You created this relationship to learn something and it has brought that specific gift to your life. The worst thing to do is to hold onto it when the universe is telling you it's time to let go. If you hold on to this kind of relationship it will pull you down and prevent your expansion. This relationship was only ever meant to be "seasonal," and if you don't let it go, what was once delightful could become destructive; certainly not for your greater continued good.
2. You entered the relationship thinking you could change the other person.
The only reality over which you have any kind of control is your own experience. You can never change anyone else unless they decide to make the change of their own accord. If you think you will change a person to fit your needs you are misleading yourself. They must want to change, and you can't want it more for them than they want it for themselves. If this is where you stand in relation to the other person, you need to reassess and take action.
3. You are in a static relationship that holds you in your past.
As long as you surround yourself with a person or people who hold you in your past it will prevent you from completing your transformation into who you want to become. When others attempt to put you on a guilt trip for trying to change, their fear of change will hold you bound to the past and prevent your growth. As long as they attempt to hold you in the same place they are, you cannot move forward at your own chosen pace.
If your intimate relationship falls into one of the above categories, you will have to assess just exactly what are your priorities for your life. You can ramp it up or choose to let it go. It takes enormous courage to leave the past behind and face an uncertain future, but the price of not doing so may cost you far more than anything you could possibly lose.
You were born to live your life in ever expanding experience. You need to surround yourself with people who share your highest aspirations. Mix with those who are as you would like to be, or who have what you want - not what you have at present.
When you feel the urge, take time to reassess your relationships, particularly your intimate relationship. See how you can perhaps contribute more, be more present to the other and play your role with full immersion. If you see it cannot be sustained, do what needs to be done. You only have one life this time around. Don't waste even one day more: start living for growth of love and expansion of who you are and want to be.
ATTRACTION the act of associating lust with a particular person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT what occurs when two extremely lusty, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom,and dating repulsive men.
EASY a term used to describe a woman who follows masculine ideals of lust .
EYE CONTACT a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted to by the man as "playing hard to get."
INTERESTING a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
SOBER condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
I want you to know so many things about my feelings for you. It used to scare me a little bit to know how open I have been with you. Before you came along, so many of my inner feelings were completely mine. I didn’t think I would ever find anyone I could trust enough to share them with. But now, so sweetly and assuredly, I have. I am so incredibly glad you’re here.
And now… you know so much about me. Things that, for the first in my life, I feel safe sharing. I guess I just knew that you had a caring heart that would take wonderful care of the things that are so important to me.
Now there is a connection between us that will always be one of the most meaningful things I’ll ever be blessed with. The place where my life lives alongside yours is my sanctuary. It is a space where an unbreakable bond exists between us. It’s the one place on this planet where my path converges with the path of another, where I can be close enough to walk alongside you on your journey and have you there to walk with and talk on the journey of all my days.
You know where I hade the keys to the doors that lead to my happiness and my hopes. You have been with me in moments of closeness so complete that worlds get lost and love gets found in everything. You know the highs and lows, the dreams, the memories, the way yesterday has been, and the way I want tomorrow to be.
There are many things that no one knows… but you. And today, I want you to know this, to: No matter what the rest of the world might have planned, I want our lives to continue on… with the sweetest understanding and the strongest connection any two people can share…
