There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.
His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.
He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one."
As William Arthur Ward once said,
"It is wise to direct your anger towards problems - not people;
to focus your energies on answers - not excuses."
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Illuminated by Blindness
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I will marry you."
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her, "Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later had a note sent to her saying, "Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine."
This is often how our human nature works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
Life is a gift.
Today, before you say an unkind word, think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.
Today, before you complain about life, think of those who may have died before their time.
Before whining about the distance you drive, think of those who walk the same distance on foot.
When you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
And, when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around for a reason.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
4 Easy Steps to Control Your Emotions
Our emotions are something that we would all like to have a bit of control over. One minute we can be happy and feel like the world is perfect, the next we can get agitated by the smallest thing and get overloaded with angry feelings.
Despite the fact that our emotions are often random and seemingly hard to control, there are some simple yet highly effective techniques so that you can control them and literally choose your own emotions. The following four steps in this article are going to help you do just that.
1. Focus on the Present Moment
The buddha is said to have been in a constant state of presence, and that's actually why he got the named 'buddha' which loosely means: the awakened one. While living in the moment in a practice that spans from the east and zen-like teachings, it can still be very effective in modern, western society.
I'm sure you can think of some problems in your life, and I actually want you to do that right now. Think of something you would love to fix, something you think is a real issue. The problem with this line of thinking is that we project negative images of the future, and let our past control what is right now. This very moment, this very second, there are no problems in your life. There might be in 5 minutes, there might have been yesterday, but not this very second.
Once you grasp this, you also need to understand that life is always this very second, and it is this moment where your attention should be focused.
2. Monitor Your Thoughts
When I first heard the idea of monitoring our thoughts I thought it was a little crazy. After-all, we are our thoughts, right? Wrong! It is actually very possible to monitor your thoughts, and with a bit of practice you'll realise that our minds are constantly full of negativity, projecting it in the future and thinking about the bad side of every situation.
As a little exercise, see if you can catch the next thought that comes in your head. Close your eyes, relax and watch it for it. You'll notice that it takes a while for a thought to come, even though it is said we are bombarded with 65,000 of them every single day.
Now let me ask you this: if you noticed the thought, which are you? The 'thing' that noticed the thought, or the thought itself? You aren't both. See if you can monitor your thoughts throughout the day and you'll notice some amazing results.
3. Realise Every Situation is Neutral
This will be hard to grasp, but if you monitor your thoughts successfully in part 2, try and notice your resistance to some of the things I am saying. A child being hit by a car is completely neutral, it is what it is. Of course, nobody in their right mind would think of it as a good thing or be happy that it did, but in an overview of the world it is no different to a ant being frazzled by a little boy with a magnifying glass.
Every single situation in this world is neutral, and you can either see it like that, or even put a positive or negative twist on it. You'll find that we tend to think negatively of things most of the time, see if you can be aware of this and either just accept things for what they are or see everything as a positive light.
If the girl getting hit by a car is negative, what is it if that car crash let's doctors become aware of a tumour inside of her that they can treat, but otherwise would not have known about. Is that car crash still negative?
4. Learn to Regain Control of Your Mind
Without practice, we actually have little control of our minds. In fact, we have so little control of our thoughts (which lead to emotions) that we often think that we are our minds. There are two techniques I like to use to regain control of my mind, which allows me to be much more conscious in my living, and much more able to choose to feel positive emotions.
The first technique is meditation. Basically I will sit in a quiet room with my legs crossed and my hands on my lap, and focus on my breathing. Notice the rise and fall of your chest, hear and feel the oxygen flowing throughout your body. This will be difficult your first time and you'll quickly find yourself 'bored' and 'distracted', but with practice this will get a lot easier and you'll really enjoy doing it.
The second technique is giving an object your full attention. Pick up an object that is preferably very simple and doesn't have any text or words on it. You might choose a stapler, an eraser, a mug or even some glasses. Now, for 5 minutes, see if you can give this object your undivided attention. Don't think about it, don't judge it or label it, just spend five minutes giving it your full attention.
By Glen A
Despite the fact that our emotions are often random and seemingly hard to control, there are some simple yet highly effective techniques so that you can control them and literally choose your own emotions. The following four steps in this article are going to help you do just that.
1. Focus on the Present Moment
The buddha is said to have been in a constant state of presence, and that's actually why he got the named 'buddha' which loosely means: the awakened one. While living in the moment in a practice that spans from the east and zen-like teachings, it can still be very effective in modern, western society.
I'm sure you can think of some problems in your life, and I actually want you to do that right now. Think of something you would love to fix, something you think is a real issue. The problem with this line of thinking is that we project negative images of the future, and let our past control what is right now. This very moment, this very second, there are no problems in your life. There might be in 5 minutes, there might have been yesterday, but not this very second.
Once you grasp this, you also need to understand that life is always this very second, and it is this moment where your attention should be focused.
2. Monitor Your Thoughts
When I first heard the idea of monitoring our thoughts I thought it was a little crazy. After-all, we are our thoughts, right? Wrong! It is actually very possible to monitor your thoughts, and with a bit of practice you'll realise that our minds are constantly full of negativity, projecting it in the future and thinking about the bad side of every situation.
As a little exercise, see if you can catch the next thought that comes in your head. Close your eyes, relax and watch it for it. You'll notice that it takes a while for a thought to come, even though it is said we are bombarded with 65,000 of them every single day.
Now let me ask you this: if you noticed the thought, which are you? The 'thing' that noticed the thought, or the thought itself? You aren't both. See if you can monitor your thoughts throughout the day and you'll notice some amazing results.
3. Realise Every Situation is Neutral
This will be hard to grasp, but if you monitor your thoughts successfully in part 2, try and notice your resistance to some of the things I am saying. A child being hit by a car is completely neutral, it is what it is. Of course, nobody in their right mind would think of it as a good thing or be happy that it did, but in an overview of the world it is no different to a ant being frazzled by a little boy with a magnifying glass.
Every single situation in this world is neutral, and you can either see it like that, or even put a positive or negative twist on it. You'll find that we tend to think negatively of things most of the time, see if you can be aware of this and either just accept things for what they are or see everything as a positive light.
If the girl getting hit by a car is negative, what is it if that car crash let's doctors become aware of a tumour inside of her that they can treat, but otherwise would not have known about. Is that car crash still negative?
4. Learn to Regain Control of Your Mind
Without practice, we actually have little control of our minds. In fact, we have so little control of our thoughts (which lead to emotions) that we often think that we are our minds. There are two techniques I like to use to regain control of my mind, which allows me to be much more conscious in my living, and much more able to choose to feel positive emotions.
The first technique is meditation. Basically I will sit in a quiet room with my legs crossed and my hands on my lap, and focus on my breathing. Notice the rise and fall of your chest, hear and feel the oxygen flowing throughout your body. This will be difficult your first time and you'll quickly find yourself 'bored' and 'distracted', but with practice this will get a lot easier and you'll really enjoy doing it.
The second technique is giving an object your full attention. Pick up an object that is preferably very simple and doesn't have any text or words on it. You might choose a stapler, an eraser, a mug or even some glasses. Now, for 5 minutes, see if you can give this object your undivided attention. Don't think about it, don't judge it or label it, just spend five minutes giving it your full attention.
By Glen A
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